go do what you do best...puke behind churches
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
