i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
Randomize
