Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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