our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
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