you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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