Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
