Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
