i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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