He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
