just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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