Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
and PS, please don't fuck in the corn maze, k?
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize