is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize
