The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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