I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I just googled if crying burns calories
You know how girls with huge tits have back problems? Do you get knee problems or something?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Randomize
