seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
Randomize
