My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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