I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
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I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
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No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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