What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize