She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
