I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
