Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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