Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize
