help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
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I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize