btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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