thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
so much tequila, so little girl.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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