So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
Randomize
