Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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