she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
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