You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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