Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
