Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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