...so i touched it.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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