ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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