If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
