quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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