Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
