just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Randomize
