Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
