sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
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of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
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Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
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