please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
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