I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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