she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
where are you?
Hypothermia
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be your penis for a week.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize