he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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