Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
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