The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
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Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
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Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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