you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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