It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Randomize
