are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
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