we're blogging at a bar
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
