Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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