We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
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Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
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