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I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
One girl and one boy is just not enough.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
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