margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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