well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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