well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
