remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
