She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
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i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
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Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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