So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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