I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
Randomize
