Dude, this place has 10% alcohol beer on tap. It's like God's semen.
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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